Zhongshan is your typical park in China- you can enjoy great views of the Forbidden city while strolling by a lake, wander among the centuries-old trees, and of course visit some temples and pavilions. However, the REAL attraction that we found two weekends ago was the weekend afternoon dating gathering. (Perhaps parent-led dating auction would be a better term...) In one little area of the park, there were at least 300 Chinese, generally of the 50+ demographic, looking for potential sons- and daughters-in-laws. Yep, these parents are either so concerned that their children will stay forever single, are too eager for some grandchildren, or just bored that they gather in the park to meet others with a common purpose to trade info and set up their kids. The typical participant was sitting with a description of their still single daughter or son: DOB, city, something education or career related, height, and in some cases a photo or even a monthly salary. Even though the demographics might imply that Chinese males have trouble finding a spouse, being at Zhongshan Park told me quite the opposite. I'd say over 80% of the ads were for daughters rather than sons, because not only is there societal pressure on females to be married before the age of 30, but there's also the biological clock ticking and the fact that males can easily date and marry when they're older without being considered an old maid.
Although this phenomenon may seem completely strange to a Westerner, in both an awful and entertaining way, it's really not so strange in other parts of the world especially in Asia. Dating and marriage are treated so differently in each culture, and it's quite fascinating how expectations and the family's role change in each place. I'll give you a typical Chinese example. My aunt and uncle have been working on a set-up for awhile now; the girl is my aunt's co-worker and friend and the guy is my uncle's acquaintance from the gym. My aunt kept quizzing my uncle about this guy: how tall is he? what do his parents do? how educated are his parents have? where did he graduate from? These questions may not be on the top of the list for an American girl, but they do represent the Chinese priorities. I was shocked to find a father list his daughter's monthly salary (a respectable 5000RMB/month)- these private details, along with age, are such a no-no in the American dating world that there's people who have been dating years and still don't know their boyfriend or girlfriend's salary! Western society and Hollywood are always reminding us to look beyond the physical, material, and financial to find true love, and this guy is ADVERTISING his daughter's salary?!? This is definitely going to attract the wrong type of golddigger husband, I thought. However, looking at this from the Chinese perspective, adding this piece of information makes a lot of sense; neither this girl nor her father will consider a potential husband who makes significant less than her and on the flipside, the potential husband would most likely suffer a blow to his ego if his wife was a bigger bread-winner. To them, a salary is actually a very practical thing to advertise.
Lately, there's been some even crazier dating phenomena. Social media and advertising have been taken to a whole new level... read more here.
Although this phenomenon may seem completely strange to a Westerner, in both an awful and entertaining way, it's really not so strange in other parts of the world especially in Asia. Dating and marriage are treated so differently in each culture, and it's quite fascinating how expectations and the family's role change in each place. I'll give you a typical Chinese example. My aunt and uncle have been working on a set-up for awhile now; the girl is my aunt's co-worker and friend and the guy is my uncle's acquaintance from the gym. My aunt kept quizzing my uncle about this guy: how tall is he? what do his parents do? how educated are his parents have? where did he graduate from? These questions may not be on the top of the list for an American girl, but they do represent the Chinese priorities. I was shocked to find a father list his daughter's monthly salary (a respectable 5000RMB/month)- these private details, along with age, are such a no-no in the American dating world that there's people who have been dating years and still don't know their boyfriend or girlfriend's salary! Western society and Hollywood are always reminding us to look beyond the physical, material, and financial to find true love, and this guy is ADVERTISING his daughter's salary?!? This is definitely going to attract the wrong type of golddigger husband, I thought. However, looking at this from the Chinese perspective, adding this piece of information makes a lot of sense; neither this girl nor her father will consider a potential husband who makes significant less than her and on the flipside, the potential husband would most likely suffer a blow to his ego if his wife was a bigger bread-winner. To them, a salary is actually a very practical thing to advertise.
Lately, there's been some even crazier dating phenomena. Social media and advertising have been taken to a whole new level... read more here.
 |
| Dating and networking frenzy |
 |
| A more peaceful part of Zhongshan |
No comments:
Post a Comment